Are you a self-diagnosed people pleaser? Do you put everyone’s needs ahead of your own? Do you have trouble keeping the promises you make to yourself? If you just sighed and said “yes,” then it’s time to keep reading my friend…
People pleasing was one of the root causes of my health decline in 2018. Hey, it’s Claire Fletcher, Nutritional Freedom’s Marketing Manager and resident expert on people pleasing. My self-induced role as people pleaser started at a very young age and came to head after being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s– an autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid. It was the catalyst I needed to look at myself and ask… Am I doing any of this for me?
It hit me: Almost every decision I made was being controlled by how it would affect a boss, a friend, family member or even how it would be perceived by society. I had completely lost sight of who I was and what I wanted.
I, indeed, was a full-blown people pleaser.
I was spending so much time making sure everyone was happy and supported that I forgot to support myself. It became clear that not living my truth and fullest expression was another way to please others.
I would say yes to drinking because that’s what my friends were doing, or attend a family event even when it made me uncomfortable, or gossip with a co-worker just so I would be liked and accepted. I had no internal compass and it wasn’t until I realized that I had to put my needs first, that I began to heal, mentally and physically.
When I started to make the conscious choice to put myself first, I would ask myself these questions:
- Am I saying yes or no to this because I think someone else wants me too?
- Do I like ______, or am I doing it for someone else?
- Is this aligned with my values?
…And those questions have been my guide ever since. If this resonates, remember to give yourself grace. If you feel like you have people pleasing tendencies you’d like to break out of, know that it takes time and practice. You can never be the best version of you if you’re trying to fill up everyone else’s bucket before your own.